Five things not to say to a sleep deprived parent

Most of us with children have been there. By “there”, I mean feeling so darned tired that if you weren’t holding on to the buggy as you walked along, you would literally keel over and be fast asleep before you hit the ground.

I was going to write up some top tips for sleep deprived parents when I realised that the most common piece of advice given to new mothers in particular is to “sleep when the baby sleep” which for most of us just isn’t possible. Perhaps we’re fretting about the state of the house (which of course really doesn’t matter) and feel the need to clean and tidy before the in-laws or, even worse, the midwife arrives or maybe it just isn’t so easy to crash out on demand just because the baby is asleep. I could go on…

So inspired by the irritation that “sleep when your baby sleeps” stirs in me, I thought I’d offer some heartfelt advice from my own personal experience of what not to say to a new parent who is just “getting by” on three hours sleep a night.

Five things not to say to a sleep deprived parent

1. “Sleep when your baby sleeps” – see above. Enough said!
2. “My son/daughter didn’t sleep through until they went to school” – my mum said this to me about yours truly – the last thing I wanted was the thought that I had four and a half years to wait before I could get back to my much loved eight hours.
3. “My baby slept through from the beginning” – probably the best way to get a black eye! (and is it even true?)
4. “You look tired” – no sh*t Sherlock. Not helpful and there’s not much they can do about it.
5. “Enjoy it, this is the best part” – this may be true and as those with older children know it doesn’t get easier it just changes. However, if these are your only words of wisdom probably best to zip it.

But let’s end on a positive note. My grandfather, a father of five and retired GP, offered this pearl of wisdom which I was actually pleased to hear and which I have since shared with countless suffering parents. There are two important milestones – six weeks and six months; at both of these stages things get easier bigtime and you get more shuteye to boot… pass it on!